Harsh/Directness Is Not Always Bad

Harsh is Not Always Bad

I’m rather a harsh man at times.

I state what I believe and let the chips fall as they will.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad it’s who I am.

I was always meant to be direct but life tried to scare it out of me as it does to many of us.

As a child I was shy.

Like most of us, I was picked on.

The way I “dealt” with the bullies was to lay low and try to stay out of the line of fire.

I don’t recommend my coping method but I was a kid and didn’t get a whole lot of instruction from my parents on how to respond to mean people.

Bullies were viewed as the way it was, buck up, grow up and get over it.

I remember a good day was when I could make it through a day at school, get off the bus, and get to my house without someone belittling me in some way.

No sob story needed, just telling you how it felt.

When I worked in television news I found my voice.

The job gave me some credibility and, while I couldn’t allow my political beliefs out, I learned to research and play the game, but it felt powerful having a voice.

Information is powerful.

Looking back it felt so phony.

I’d see hypocrisy and two-faced people projecting unity, conversation and divergent opinions but it was all a lie. I knew it but to call it out would have cost me my job. I tiptoed a lot….I danced around things…those days are gone.

When I ran for Secretary of State in Oregon back in 2008, it was like coming out of the political closet.

I ran as a Republican which threw a lot of people. I did my job as a journalist well, being fair even when I disagreed. What a concept huh?

I’d been a non affiliated voter but had to turn blue or red to play the game and I knew blue, while it is the color the consultants say I look best in, politically it didn’t fit.

I picked red, but a purple shade of red.

Democrats would say to me: “I can’t believe you’re a Republican.”

I’d also hear a lot “you are the first Republican I’ve ever voted for” which was good to see people vote for people not a party but also pointed out a narrow-mindedness that had infected our culture.

That experience opened my mind, my eyes and brought out that harsh/direct side of Rick Dancer.

The direct Dancer stopped caring about the bullies or making friends and began speaking the truth.

The bullshit was real and the true me wanted nothing to do with the lies anymore.

I think that’s one of the things I love most about Montana.

Most of the state is harsh.

Harsh weather, tough living,…..it’s extreme, and the people are rugged individualists. (like Oregon used to be and still is in the rural areas)

You must want to be here and love it to stay.

Many don’t make it.

Yesterday we drove 20 minutes from our house, hiked eight miles into the wilderness in a foot of snow and by 4pm were sitting in Helena in a theater watching Jason Statham killing people in his latest thriller “A Working Man.”

Montana is harsh/direct like me.

There is a huge difference between an honest directness which centers on the truth and people being rude because they disagree with you. For me, the line of exposure reveals itself when you stop listening and start calling names.

It takes me back to that bus ride in grade school.

If only I had known then what I know now.

It wasn’t my problem it was theirs.

They were the ones who felt threatened and rather than figure it out, took it out on people like me.

That’s what’s happening in America today.

The silenced, the quieted, the bullied, see clearly who is at fault and no longer worry about the ramifications of directness.

We’re discovering Harsh is not always a bad thing in fact sometimes directness is needed.