God & My Mom

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Are You There God?

As a boy I remember sitting in church next to my mom, resting my head against her arm and looking up at her face and feeling so safe.

If she were here today I might ask her, “Mom, am I okay?”

She wouldn’t tell me yes or no, my mom wasn’t like that.

But I’d know, just looking at her, my question was answered.

I’m thinking about her today, like many of you think of your mothers.

I find it funny, ironic and like God that last night we went to a movie that today is stirring memories of my mom, my life and what in the hell am I doing?

Yes, at 63 we are still growing as we try to figure things out.

No, my young friends, it never ends and that’s a good thing.

To grow is to hurt, to expand and change is painful.

The alternative is remain safe, idle and stale.

But mom’s somehow make it easier and when you don’t have one, there’s a hole that will never be filled.

There’s a new movie out called “Are you there God, it’s me Margarette?”

If you grew up in the 70’s there is so much in this movie you will related to.

I felt myself back in middle school, hovering in the hallways, to avoid ridicule.

The movie is great.

It’s about a girl whose dad is Jewish and her mom grew up Christian.

Margarette believes and talks regularly to God, but has no religion.

That’s what the film is about.

Growing up, trying to figure out life, trying to figure out where you fit and don’t fit in and whether you should even try.

I’m a lot like Margarette today.

I have no religion but believe in God.

I talk with God but still find myself not trusting Him completely.

At one point in the film Margarette is writing an assignment on “religion”.

She writes “ it seems to me religions are designed to separate people, to create hate and not to bring people closer to God.”

My favorite scene in the movie is where the mom is sitting on the couch next to Margarette, holding her tightly and says something like “Life really is hard sometimes isn’t it Margarette?”

Life is really hard sometimes. We want peace and understanding but find a world full of chaos and anger.

We want to hope for a better world but when we do, find disappointment in people for being human which includes nasty.

There are times I’d like to slip off into obscurity, like I did as a middle schooler, hiding from the crowd to ward off their insults and rude comments.

But I’m not in middle school anymore.

I ventured out into the hallways where I refuse to bow my head to any god but the one who made me.

My mom was not a deep talker but for me she didn’t have to be. It was her presence in my life that brought me peace.

Perhaps mom was a placeholder for God?

Maybe she was here to not only wipe the food off my face in church with spit on her handkerchief and cry with me when all my rabbits were dying one summer.

Maybe mom was helping to show me that God is here.

He’s listening, crying and prodding me along…but He doesn’t say too much because this is my life to figure out with Him.

God is not a puppet master, He’s my Father.

He’s not telling me what to do but enjoys watching me figure out His playbook for my life.

Someone wrote a verse to me that lightened my spirit a bit this morning.

Philippians 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.