A Gut Feeling

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A Gut Feeling

There are certain truths held deep in our gut.

We can’t define them until something happens, a harsh reality sets in or someone says something that rips off the scars.

The past four years ripped off a lot of crusty scars. Wounds exposed, unrealistic fears realized and our propensity to follow embarrassingly experienced.

It’s easy to go through life teetering on the edge of knowing and wondering.

When one of those truths tries to rise to consciousness the desire to wrestle with ourselves is squelched by daily living and getting our work done.

I look at the world and wonder whose eyes am I viewing this world from?

Some days the vision is so clear but most of the time a thin layer of fog gets in the way as I struggle to separate the light from the dark.

The past is defiantly an obstacle. Past pain keeps me standing outside the ring, wrestling with the idea of taking on the fight.

I’ve been in this same place too many times before.

I know when I win this battle another waits just outside the harbor.

The mind can be friend or foe. It can protect us or dig up all kinds of treachery, some real but much imagined.

As I sit here this morning a gut feeling whispers “put your neck out just a little bit more.”

I don’t just do it but instead will wait for the next nudge that will confirm or deny my stirring.

Life once seemed much easier than it does today but that’s the folly of humanity.

It really wasn’t.

Toys and things used to please.

Growth shows up when those “things” no longer sooth the soul.

I’m searching for the truth, for something real, for something foundational.

Life didn’t get harder it simply became more purposeful.

It’s just a gut feeling.