When did I become the parent.

As I look out the window, the night lights of Portland twinkle in the distance, and here I sit wondering when did my mother and I trade places? My twin sister is on her computer. My little sister just left. Sitting next to me in a hospital bed is my mom. She fell the other day and broke a blood vessel in her brain. The blood won’t clot so they’re keeping her in the hospital for a few days. I think she’ll be okay but at 83, every trip to the hospital reminds me that I’ll always have a mother but she won’t always be next to me like she is right now.

It’s funny: this is the woman who changed my diapers and held my hand as I had my head perched on the edge of a toilet seat throwing up. Remember how scary it was throwing up when you were a kid? I do. The roles have changed. Now, I’m here, with my sister, watching my mother in pain. My mom is the toughest woman I know. She lives in constant pain and yet if you asked her to show you the “pain face” she’s feeling, she will always say it’s lower than it really is. She doesn’t complain she just lives with it.

My mom is funny. She’s ready for us to leave. She likes her private time with her favorite men. No, stop thinking like that my mom is not that kind of girl. Her men are a team called “The Blazers”. She loves them.

So, Judi and I will pack up and head home. Mom has a date. Go Blazers.

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• 
  Susannah December 11, 2008 at 10:08 pm

  Hi Rick, I so relate to what you are experiencing with your mother. I am in the same place. I was a sickly kid. It just feels right that I am helping my Mom now. She sacrificed her freedom to nurse me for years. Sometimes it hurts my heart. Plus, I miss my independant mom. But, I feel so honored to be there for my mom now. The roles reverse with our parents. But the time is very sweet. I pray your mom is healed and home soon. Godspeed, Susannah
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  Rick Dancer December 12, 2008 at 4:27 am

  Susannah, I’m not really the sibling who is caring for my mom the most. My twin sister Judi is there all the time for her. Judi lives the closest but that’s not why she does it. That’s simply who she is. Judi is a server. She gives tirelessly to help my mom not because she has to but because that’s who she is. My younger sister Dana lives up in the Portland area and is also there for my mom a lot.
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  Susannah December 12, 2008 at 7:53 am

  Rick, I have found, with my mom, that as she loses control of much of her life and facing, a sometimes scarey future, that a lot of what I do, is talking her through her fears. Also, it challenges me with my fears. Do I trust God to take care of me and comfort me? I tell my mother that she can do so. Do I?