Sometimes You Have To Move

Do you ever have those times when you just don’t feel right? When no matter what you do you just can’t quite get in sync with life around you?

Lately that’s how life feels for me. I think it’s a combination of things the biggest being my one-year post cancer treatment check up is just around the corner. I start feeling myself slip into a funk and when I take time to ask God, my wife and myself “Why” it usually leads back to an anniversary like cancer.

I get to go have another PSA Blood Test in June and that always makes me nervous. In the back of your mind these thoughts that it’s back ebb and flow and you can’t stop it. All of the old tricks to get your mind off the subject don’t work once cancer is a reality in your life.

My wife and I taped Oprah’s final show the other day and watched it. I know some of you are laughing and that’s fine laugh all you want. Oprah is an icon in the industry and after watching that final show I almost wish I’d watched more of her shows when she was on the air.

She said a couple of things that made great sense to me. She believes, as I believe, that each one of us has a calling and we need to respond to that calling. She gives credit for her success to God and I admire that about her.

As my funk causes me to re-think life I have to wonder whether I’m truly fulfilling God’s call on my life? I’m reminded that my job and my calling are not always the same thing.

I believe everything we do is getting us ready for that moment when we hear the call of God and move. I understand, cancer, life, funks, crappy gray weather and mishaps and miss-steps are all part of the journey but I get tired of those uphill climbs and long for a good downhill rush with the wind in my face and the past at my back.

Perhaps it’s time to step out a little farther and take a chance on falling flat on my face?

Don’t worry, no rash decisions here I have an amazing wife who won’t allow me to be too stupid. But sometime you’ve got to ask yourself the difficult questions. Sometimes you have to say to God, let’s go. Sometimes you have to look past the past, pull up the anchor and set sail.