Personal Ads
I have a friend in Bend, Oregon who loves to read the personal adds. She has a website called Pebblechaser. It’s listed on my blogroll below. She posted this the other day and I can’t stop laughing. Some of you may be offended so be warned.
It goes like this:
could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever
been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of
Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was
a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked
forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t
feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that
said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny,
not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I
did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my
uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of
the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they
call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your
pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other
hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a
heated leather seat…
than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in
fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
P.S. – If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early. Touché
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That was hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
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