I don’t raise my hand much anymore

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I don’t ask God a lot of questions anymore. I have no need to ask. For a while I felt bad about that. Does that mean I understand the meaning of life or what He’s doing? Not on your life. What it means is I have no need for the answers.

In John (That’s a book in the Bible) it says; “And in that day ye shall ask Me nothing.” I read those words this morning and got all teary eyed.

I guess for so many years I’ve played the game and tried to live under God’s rule while manipulating my own desires. When push came to shove my desires superseded His.

I don’t do that anymore. I don’t ask why. I don’t ask why not. I don’t ask will you take care of us, provide for us, and put a roof over our heads, because he always does.

How do you tell someone this is how I always wanted to be?

I’m not a machine, I’m a work of art and God is the co-artist. I’m not a project I’m a person in relationship with the creator of the universe.

Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote; “the meaning of life is to live it as if it were a work of art, you’re not a machine.” I love that.

I sat in a room full of powerful people, listening to a candidate for governor talk about the direction of Oregon and our future. I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with him but smiled because it all seems like a huge game.

It’s important stuff but at some level I wonder. I can’t change the world. I can’t be that guy to anyone anymore. I just need to stay true to whatever it is “we” are creating. (God and me)

And if I start to figure that out, I’ll take it on, and take Him out of the picture. So, I will live my life this way now. If a question arises for God I’ll ask it. But at this point I trust He knows what He’s doing and after all I’m a co-writer on this project called “my life.”