End the Silence

I’m sitting across from two women who have suffered horrible, unspeakable abuse. My job is to ask questions and get them to talk about these things to help educate the rest of us about domestic violence.

As I listen I find myself fighting back tears. One of the women, is now disabled because her husband beat her so badly he broke her back. Both women were belittled so much by their former husbands, their spirits are damaged beyond belief.

I asked one of the survivors which abuse was worse, the physical or the mental (not the survivor with the broken back). She told me by far it’s the mental abuse. She told me the physical scars heal but the scarring done to her soul, that’s a different story.

I learned something powerful about this issue today. We are so tempted to ask the question why do women put up with abuse like this? But that is the wrong question to ask. It’s not the woman’s fault. The real question we should be asking is why does the abuser, abuse and why do we still allow this to happen?

Some of you will be tempted to throw out a random comment but I must warn you, unless you’ve been there you haven’t got a clue what’s going on so be careful. Also, you never know who’s reading this, or who lives next door to you who might be a victim of abuse. We must remember kindness as we struggle with these issues that scar our culture and keep us from becoming the society we want to become.

Both of these women are my hero’s. To look them in the eye and see the power they now own is earth shattering. To see how much someone can change when given respect and not judgment is quieting. The thing we need to do, when it comes to domestic violence is “End the Silence.”

Explainer: Womenspace hired my company to shoot a video for them. End the Silence is their slogan and I’m honored to help do just that.

1 Comment

• 
  Rick Dancer April 2, 2011 at 7:37 am

  A woman sent me this private email but said I could share part of it with you.

  “I have always been a strong woman and don’t ever want to be thought of as a victim; yet I can answer (at least from my perspective) why some of us don’t leave. And you can quote me (without my name) if you like. 1. it creeps up on you slowly. 2. Christians don’t divorce. 3. In protecting my children and ignoring my own needs and desires for a normal life, I had to pretend it wasn’t so bad. A survival technique. 4. Someone else’s story is always worse than yours. 5. Change and the unknown are almost as terrifying as the same old pattern you live in. God has shown me His Grace and I am walking in that now. I can now say that I AM beautiful, and smart, and have worth, because I can look at myself through God’s eyes. This is all very new, but exciting. I honestly believed I was dead inside and whatever morsel was left was there only for the purpose of taking care of my kids needs. I felt like a machine turning the cogs. Turns out, I am very much alive and now am walking into this unbelievable new life God has for me.”