It’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I find myself in a hospital like room in the back of a tattoo parlor in West Eugene. I’m there meeting a friend who I recently reconnected with. We didn’t talk about my cancer, we didn’t talk about my future, and we didn’t even talk about me.
We talked about our father. Yes, we share a father. Not a biological dad but a Heavenly father. My friend lives a much different life than me yet we are so much alike in many ways. I laughed today. I really, really laughed.
The other day I visited a friend who didn’t know I had cancer but notice something was wrong. As she put it “The Sparkle has vanished from your blue eyes.” Today, some of that sparkle returned.
In that tiny room, in a tattoo parlor, the two of us had church. Yep, no singing, no clapping, no love offering or sign up sheets. A friend of mine goes to one of the many mega churches in Eugene. His pastor had a sermon the other day on why you “Need” to go to church. He told them Church is where you go to be inspired. I guess I must have been in church today, in that back room at the tattoo parlor, because I walked away with my thoughts back in order and very inspired.
The sermon had nothing to do with behavior modification but had everything to do with our father. My friend raises Pit Bulls and said to me; “You can’t train a dog unless it’s calm and submissive.” Bingo. It hit me. I am so busy trying to find the right cure for my cancer, trying to figure out the next step, trying to control cancer that I am not calm and have no ability to submit.
As I drove home tonight, something returned that was robbed when my doctor said:” You have cancer.” I’m not saying I’m in a good place, or that I’m okay with all of this. But my dad (God) restored that twinkle in my eye, if only for a few hours, and I think I’m starting to get it.
