End the Silence

I’m sitting across from two women who have suffered horrible, unspeakable abuse. My job is to ask questions and get them to talk about these things to help educate the rest of us about domestic violence.

As I listen I find myself fighting back tears. One of the women, is now disabled because her husband beat her so badly he broke her back. Both women were belittled so much by their former husbands, their spirits are damaged beyond belief.

I asked one of the survivors which abuse was worse, the physical or the mental (not the survivor with the broken back). She told me by far it’s the mental abuse. She told me the physical scars heal but the scarring done to her soul, that’s a different story.

I learned something powerful about this issue today. We are so tempted to ask the question why do women put up with abuse like this? But that is the wrong question to ask. It’s not the woman’s fault. The real question we should be asking is why does the abuser, abuse and why do we still allow this to happen?

Some of you will be tempted to throw out a random comment but I must warn you, unless you’ve been there you haven’t got a clue what’s going on so be careful. Also, you never know who’s reading this, or who lives next door to you who might be a victim of abuse. We must remember kindness as we struggle with these issues that scar our culture and keep us from becoming the society we want to become.

Both of these women are my hero’s. To look them in the eye and see the power they now own is earth shattering. To see how much someone can change when given respect and not judgment is quieting. The thing we need to do, when it comes to domestic violence is “End the Silence.”

Explainer: Womenspace hired my company to shoot a video for them. End the Silence is their slogan and I’m honored to help do just that.

Stop your meddling

A monk needed Olive Oil and planed a tree. He prayed for rain to water it, sunshine to help it grow and frost to make it sturdy. God did all three but the next morning the tree died.

The monk went to a friend and told his story. His friend said he also had planted an olive tree but rather than making conditions for the tree he entrusted God to give the tree what it needed to grow.

How often do we do the same thing? We think we know what we need or what needs to be ripped from our lives and set up a list of conditions, meaning well, but failing to understand God knows more than we do.

Perhaps the better approach might be to understand God is in charge. I’m not saying we shouldn’t plant the tree and ask for God’s blessing but once we ask perhaps we need to return our focus on God rather than what we think the outcome needs to be.

Game Time Basketball University: More Than A Game

Former Oregon Duck Basketball players Kenya Wilkins and Jamal Lawrence have a great program that not only teaches amazing basketball skills but also teaches kids skills about life. Game Time Basketball University would like to offer more scholarships to kids who can’t afford a program like this but the organization needs you help to make that happen. We recently produced this video of the program. Take a look and see what you think.

For More information about the program and schedules go to http://www.gametimebasketball.org/

Dear Mom,

You’ve been gone from this earth a year today and I just wanted to drop you a note to tell you how I’m doing. I can’t tell you everything because there are some things I just don’t want you to know.

I got through the cancer treatment and everything is okay. My PSA is down from what it was but the last test my numbers have gone back up so that has been a bit of a set back. The doctor says it’s to be expected but you know how I am and failure is…..well, failure.

I’m getting better at failing mom. I tried to put up some shelves the other day and messed up part of the project but was able to simply let it go. I didn’t stew over it or beat myself up.

Since your death a couple of questions have come up and I’m not sure why you left them unanswered. I guess we’ll have to talk about that when I get there. No one ever means to leave loose ends but it happens and sometimes they hurt.

Kathy is doing fine. She’s painting and really good at it. Jake has a girlfriend and we really like her. Jess does too and there’s something else cool happening to him but I can’t tell you yet. I guess you probably already know. Does God tell you everything that happens down here? I’m just wondering. Do you get to see the final outcome of things like He does or do you care once you get to Heaven?

I still hear songs on the radio and think of you. Hope you are doing well. What a stupid thing to say you are in Heaven of course you are doing well.

Sorry for my lack of knowledge remember I’m still here and you have graduated to the next thing.

Mom, when you talk to God can you ask Him to make sure my cancer is gone? Also, if He could watch over the health of Kathy and the boy’s I’d appreciate it.

I’ll talk with you soon but not too soon, I’ve got too much still left to do here, I hope.

Rick

Cosmic Reality

It’s Friday night; Cosmic Pizza in Eugene is jam-packed with people. The room is filled with an eclectic group from many different walks of life.

Oregon Supported Living Program is the reason people are here. It’s a fundraiser that includes artwork and a series of concerts in support of an organization that cares for people in our community who have disabilities.

The audience is a mix of people. One of the first things you notice is the disproportionate number of wheelchairs in the room.

Each of us in the room has a couple of things in common. I won’t mention the obvious but will focus on one. Most in this room whether it is those with disabilities, the caregivers or the friends and family tend to understand they don’t “fit in” to the outside culture. Also, most in this room gave up, a long time ago, trying to convince the outside world that they’re okay.

As Kathy and I enter the room the smiles and hugs quickly follow. We feel at home in this world we knew little about a few years ago. We grab a beer and Kathy heads for the other side of the room to see her brother Chip Diehm, who lives in one of the OSLP group homes.

Kathy serves on the OSLP board and I do some work for the organization but we felt no obligation to be at the fundraiser. We honestly wanted to be there. There is a difference you know. I used to spend a lot of time at events I felt obligated to attend. I don’t feel that about anything anymore. There’s a freedom in walking with God that says I don’t have to “go to” to “walk with” Him.

As I stood there looking around, at my friends, I thought how the outside world would judge us as misfits. The room is filled with folks who truly care about others but not about what people think of their piercing or tattoo’s, hair length or clothing, it’s as real as it gets and we love it.

As I stood back and watched my wife sitting with her brother and his friends I found my eyes leaking a bit. This is the life we’ve been longing to be a part of. This is a culture, within a culture, that has great value because it shows the outside world what true acceptance and love is all about.

At one point I leaned over to Kathy and said:  “If the rest of the world could experience this perhaps they’d understand.” Then, I thought to myself, but perhaps the rest of the world can’t understand this and moments like these are reserved for those willing to step into the “Cosmic Reality”.

PSA Up: What Sucks About Cancer